Elsie Clara Cornforth (neé Coxall)

Grandma Elsie (my dad's mum) died on Thursday 9 December, she was 90. 

I didn't meet my mum's mum (she died before I was born), so Grandma Elsie was the main grand-matriarch influence in my life.

She was born on 19 January 1931.

She had 5 children.

I always thought it was unusual that she had 2 sets of twins.

Dianne was the eldest, my dad (Terry/Tosh) and Louise, and then Jane and Ian (Tammer). 

None of Grandma's children had twins, and so far, only her grandson (my cousin) Michael has twins. 

(I've recently learned that there are twins on my Grandma's sisters side of the family as well).

Grandma (as she was known to me) was part of my life growing up.

As a kid, my dad would go to Grandma and Grandad's every Sunday, and usually one of us (either me, my brother and sister) went with him. It always had a certain smell, which I can't really describe but it was always warm. When we left she would call, Toodle-do instead of goodbye.

Her house was where we caught up with our cousins, aunts and uncles, over the years, whether it was Christmas, a family visit, or just one of those Sunday visits. When she moved out in 2020, it felt like the end of an era and covid made visiting her even trickier than just popping in.

Here are some memories I have of her...

She loved hats

She had cold hands

She loved the Queen

She had custom made (big) shoes for her bunions and blamed her bad feet on ill fitting shoes when she was younger (as a warning to us).

She tried to encourage me to stop sucking my thumb when i was younger, telling me it would shrink/drop off

She painted my sister's nails with disgusting tasting stuff to stop her biting them, I don't think it stopped her.

She had false teeth, it was a thing to get them all removed to save on the cost of maintenance.

She told me off for eating a piece of raw sausage that she was preparing when i went to visit (as a kid)

She told me about the rat that came up the downstairs toilet

She told us that her kids polished the floor by attaching dusters to their feet.

When my mum was in hospital having my brother, me and my sister spent the day with Grandma and Grandad. I remember dad coming back and announcing that my brother's name was Bartholomew (he's actually called Matthew)!

She knew about everyone in the village, her front window was her TV on the street comings and goings.

She always had a story, and would ask you about people as if you were the same age as her, "you remember so and so.."

She liked the annual jumble sales in the village and reminded us to buy things for our Whitsuntide fancy dress costume

We usually went in through the back door (never the front) and only ever went in the living room or kitchen. I never went upstairs, or in the other downstairs front room, it was one of those mysteries.

That really annoying song, Grandma we love you, reminds me of Grandma.

When my grandad was alive she enjoyed going away on holidays and went with my auntie and her family.

For Christmas one year they bought me and my sister a Culture Club album, another year it was a Shakin Stevens album, and another year it was the first Now (that's what I call music) double album.

Every year (without fail) she would also take me and my sister to see the Northallerton (Amateur Dramatics) Christmas Pantomime and encouraged us to go up on the stage when they did their audience participation bit!

She came to my graduation ceremony, and I was proud to have her there, next to my mum and dad.

She bought her outfits from Barker's department store in Northallerton, and always in the sale!

When grandad died, she spent most of her Christmas days with my parents and our family, and enjoyed the chaos, noise and craziness.

One year me and Grandma swapped Christmas presents. I swapped furry hat (from my mother in law) with an umbrella Grandma got, we were both pretty chuffed with our swaps!

If dad went to visit Grandma on his own he'd often come home with some random items (usually clothing) that Grandma had found, none of them would have ever fitted her or Grandad. And newspaper clippings that she'd kept over the years about all the family members.

She went to the Baptist church (happy clappers) because they did the best meals.

She liked to keep her hands busy and would knit "little hats that they sent to Africa for the babies"

She was silly and daft, and she didn't mind people seeing her have fun, or being silly.

My cousin took her to have a fish pedicure!

She raised over £400 on her 85th birthday for charity

For about five years she called my husband Craig instead of Carl!

She didn't like babies (she told me), she liked them when they were more interactive and could talk and have a conversation.

We gave our girl Emma the middle name of Elsie.

She went into assisted living accommodation last year, and covid restrictions made visiting complicated and tricky. So the last time I saw her was at my nephew's wedding in June, but I followed her antics through my auntie Jane (her carer), sharing updates on Facebook.

She gave us some money last year and we bought apple and pear trees for the garden. We've called it Elsie's orchard.

Notes added since her funeral (after talking about her with family), keep smiling she said in the days running up to her death..

She lived by the mantra, 

Live for the present, 

Plan for the future,

And don't dwell too much on the past.