Thursday, 11 August 2011

Tonight I met a Russian Man...

Before dinner we (me & Mr Lisa) had pre-dinner drinks in Tilleys bar. We were having them at the bar when I bloke came in, ordered his own drink, and spoke to us.

He was about 55, crinkly eyes, grey hair, goatee with a slightly waxed moustache.  He wore a black 3/4 length leather coat, had a red star sewn onto his lapel, a red star tattooed on his cheek, and only 1 eyebrow, the other was shaved and replaced with another tattoo. He had a dark beret, like Citizen Smith, a dickie bow and a suit.

He said he was Russian, so I said "strasveetye" which is Russian for "hello" to which he spouted a load more Russian back, some words I recognised included "hello, goodbye, good, I love you"

He said he was from St Petersburg and here to kill someone. To which we didn't quite know what to say. He said he spoke 8 different languages and then asked Mr Lisa about his knowledge of languages, as he looked to be "an intelligent man" I think his lack of language skills didn't impress him, and he didn't seem bothered that Mr Lisa's knowledge was of "maths & engineering."

He then decided to leave us to chat, but before he left he asked me to "stroke his leg" and gestured towards his knee/ankle, he assured me he wasn't being funny, so I stroked down and felt a knife or dagger tucked under his trousers and in his boot, sock or shoe.

I stood up, looked at him, tapped my nose and he grinned. We both shook his hand and then he left us, walked over to some seats and sat down and chatted to some other people.

Mr Lisa wasn't convinced he was Russian, he thought there was a hint of a "Scouse" accent coming through.

I thought he was an actor, in character getting ready for a performance at the local theatre, but it can't have been for the Tyne Theatre because they've got The Pitman Paintings on all this week.

So maybe he really was a Russian assassin after all...

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